Matt Zeitlin: Impetuous Young Whippersnapper

I used to think that no once could top DMX as far as election related nuttiness spouted by a rapper. The convicted felon, so he can’t vote, has admittedly not been following the race, and when asked by XXL magazine what he thinks of Obama, he had this to say:

You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!

Barack.
What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

Could any rapper top that? Here’s Lil Wayne

Barack, I guess, but I can’t make a real opinion. I ain’t watching no debates. I just want my people to understand that Hillary and Barack are not running for president–they running to be able to run for president. There’s a Republican party, too–we ain’t about to win, fool! A woman or a black man versus an old white dude? Fcuk no! They gonna be like, This black-ass nigga trying to come in my Oval Office? Fcuuuuuk no.The world about to end in 2012 anyway. ‘Cause the Mayans made calendars, and they stop at 2012. I got encyclopedias on the bus. The world is gonna end as we know it. You can see it already. A planet doesn’t exist: There’s no more Pluto. Planes are flying into buildings–and not just the Twin Towers, but dudes who play baseball are flying planes into buildings. Mosquitoes bite you and you die. And a black man and a woman are running for president!

Although Wayne gets points for at least knowing who Barack Obama is, he does better than DMX by talking about the Mayan calendar and citing there being “no more Pluto” as proof that the world is surely coming to an end. And extra pop-culture awareness for citing the tragic Corey Lidle incident. But perhaps Weezy is being extra insightful, four years of a McCain presidency – ending in 2012, could well bring the world to an end.

But to be fair, “there’s no more Pluto” and “mosquitoes bite you and you die” should definitely be new catchphrases for when something really weird is happening. Now only if Tha Carter III could drop…